Everything I Know About Croatia

Listening to drunk Americans talk about Australia is the best part of being Australian. Whenever I travel overseas, I meet at least one American who associates Australia with the time they got food poisoning at the Outback Steakhouse. I hit the jackpot last year when United Airlines gave me a middle seat between two frat bros who owned “Kangaroo Jack” on Blue-ray. It was the best 14 hours of my life. America is blessed with a class of people who are able to combine ignorance, confidence and belligerence in a way that always makes me want to buy them another beer. I finally got a chance to pay tribute to these comedic legends when a Croatian woman on Twitter asked me about Croatia. I managed to tell her everything she needed to know without doing a single google search. Wikipedia is for pussies, bro!

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